Local Man Wants To Do Everything

As children, our minds become quickly crammed with limitless possibility.  We believe we can do anything with enough elbow grease and tit milk.  As we grow older, life happens.  By "happens", we mean it grabs you by the cheek skin and repeatedly rams a titanium fist into your lower abdomen until every shred of aspiration seeps out of your gaping wounds.

Anyone else wanna kick this guy?

So You Wanna Be An Assassin: How To Kill With Class

Are you tired of hotshots like Martin Luther King Jr. and John Lennon traipsing around your town, making your life look mediocre in comparison?  So what if they're more talented and courageous than you?  Who cares if they can enunciate well in front of thousands?  None of that matters when a bullet drills through their cranial cavity, splattering innocent bystanders with blood and brain fragments.  That's where you come in!

President in a convertible?  You're practically asking for it.

Gangs: They're The Best!

Standards.  Hard work.  Reward.  What does it all mean? We struggle every single day to make something of ourselves in this crazy, mixed-up world and what do we get?  Jack Shit.  John Poopy.   We go to school for years to get an easily burnable piece of paper designating us professionals and in the end we all wind up rotting away in a cubicle, silently twisting and tugging on our own nipples.  Homeless men ejaculating on our sleeves and tree stump worshipers spitting in our eyes.  No loot, no swag, no hoes and no respect. That is unless, you wise up and join a gang!

Shown: Smart.