Telemarketer Racked With Guilt After Interrupting Dinner

Telephone salespeople are a lot like assholes...everyone has to deal with their shit at some point.  Also, most of the time they're just fucking assholes.  However, there is one telemarketer with honest intentions.  One saleperson with no gimmick, rigamarole, or hidden agenda.  Just some fucking guy trying to sell some fucking thing.  That man is Unf Whoomp.

Unf is neither of these two men.

Local Man Loses Asshole Virginity

From time to time, many of us find ourselves practicing basic personal hygiene.  Whether it be a bath, a shower, or simply hosing ourselves off with our own urine, we all need to spend a little time alone, scraping mystery crud off of our bodies.  These moments of solitary cleaning can reveal some startling things about ourselves and drive us to great lengths to correct these shortcomings.  For one man, it involved diving a little deeper to someplace a little smellier.

Nope, not here.