Recent Study Yields Startling Results!

So you ordered a salad instead of a steak and you're feeling pretty good about yourself.  Not only are you slimming down the waistline, but you're protecting those cute animals from meeting the grim, chunk-covered face of death's bloody hammer.  Well think again, gordo.

Shitty Young Adult Author Publishes Shitty Young Adult Series

Nowadays it seems that everyone and their limbless brother has a book deal with options for a film franchise and soft drink ad campaign.  The latest vile worm of the written word is Cynthia Winterson, a 26-year old graduate from some school you can't afford.  Armed with a Master's degree in Making Shit Up, Winterson has stormed the youth literature scene, scoring a major contract with WangDang! Publishing out of Manhattan just last week.