Friday, January 28, 2011

Local Man Can't Imagine What It'd Be Like To Be Really Fat

Last Thursday evening, Nicholas Frep was watching television with his brother-in-law, Doug.  They were watching the new hit cable series, A Truck: I Weigh As Much As One, a show documenting the everyday struggles of several tremendous human beings.  During a commercial break after the opening credits, Doug leaned over to Nicholas and asked, "Jesus, can you imagine being that fat?"  Nicholas thought for a moment and realized that he could not.  "I've never been in fantastic shape," said Frep.  "But I'm not overweight or anything like that.  I've been doing a few crunches every morning and trying to cut back on the junk food.  I just can't imagine what it'd be like to be obese."  In the show, a 900 pound man was introduced who hadn't left his bed for months because he had gotten too heavy to walk.  "Why didn't he stop eating?" questioned Frep.  "Like...I don't know.  I like food, but if I miss breakfast it's not a huge deal."

Nicholas spent the next 43 minutes of the episode contemplating his own physique in total silence.  "I was just trying to start a conversation," said Doug.  "Me and Nick don't talk too much.  I thought it was a pretty straight forward question, but I guess I never really imagined it either.  Being extremely overweight would probably be sweatier, but you know...I don't really know."  After the show ended, Nicholas excused himself from the living room.  Doug, having prior engagements to go out to dinner with his wife, let himself out through the front door, but not before catching a glimpse of Nicholas in the upstairs bathroom strapping a pillow to his stomach with a belt.  Doug said nothing.  Not even goodbye.

"I want to understand," said Frep.

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