Thursday, August 5, 2010

Local Man Discovers Secret Society

Since the dawn of time, man has kept secrets from other men, but shared those secrets with certain men, but only if those men could recite some sort of secret word or perform a secret hand gesture in order to unlock the lips of the original man with the secrets in order to the hear the secrets he was keeping secretive in the first place. Last week, a secret came out that rocked the Society of Secret Societies to its very core. Jackson Crotch made the startling discovery about a secret society that was so secret, he didn’t even know he was a member. Not only was he a member, he was the founder and president of the club. “I don’t know how this happened. I don’t remember ever starting this club. I don’t think I’ve attended a single meeting. This whole thing is just very confusing,” said Crotch. Jackson’s revelation soon caused others to come out of the woodwork and admit to being official members of this enigmatic organization. Everyone from lawyers to judges, clowns to tomato farmers have come forth to reveal this club for what it is. One long time member explained that, “Well you see…the club is kind of like…Um, well we get together once in awhile and…uhhhh. Wait, maybe I’m not a member.” I guess we will never know when this society was started, how long it will last, and what exactly it is that they do.

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