Saturday, February 19, 2011

Conga Line Started Behind Unwilling Man

At 7pm yesterday evening, Tim Shawfer met Tanya Scott for ice skating on their first date.  After miscalculating the humor derived from the fact that they have the same initials, Tim attempted to salvage the evening by wooing Ms. Scott with a superb display of ice skating mastery.  For the first hour, Tim was seen skating backwards while talking, bending down until his ass nearly touched the ice, and performing other acts of moderate difficulty.  Their date ended abruptly when a man hooked his index finger through Tim's belt loop.  Soon, other skaters followed this trend, creating a 14 person conga line behind Tim.  "It all happened so fast," said Tim.  "I didn't want to be part of that kind of thing, but they gave me no choice."  Tim, rather than denying his new responsibility as Conga Leader, embraced the experience.  "It actually turned out to be a lot of fun.  After two or three songs, the group sort of lost interest, but the good-smelling guy behind me kept clinging on tightly. His name is Troy. He sells real estate.  We're going back tomorrow night."

Something you will never see in a conga line: A black guy.

Tanya, unable to handle the awkwardness of the situation, left the ice rink with a mysterious man in a trench coat, claiming that "anything was better than staying there."  She has not been heard from since.  If you have any information that may lead to her whereabouts, take them and shove them right up your fucking ass.

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