Tuesday, September 28, 2010

Birthday Party Ends In Tragedy When Child Admits To Being Full Grown Man

The festivities had just begun at Bobby Bober’s birthday blowout. It was a celebration to mark his eleventh birthday…so the party goers thought. The balloons had been blown, but the blowing of minds, as well as other things that can be blown would come later in the evening. With candles lit, Bober’s mother, Janice, led the group of Bobby’s peers and relatives in singing “Happy Birthday”. Just as the last round of “cha-cha-chas” echoed into the mango colored sky of the setting sun, Bobby stood up. All guests fell silent as Bobby made an announcement. He revealed to his friends, family, and neighbors that he was not turning eleven, but in fact was turning thirty. This revelation was met with laughter at first, but matters soon grew more serious when Bobby wiped a thin layer of makeup off of his face that had been concealing his five a clock shadow.

Wham! Bet you didn't see that comin'

Bobby’s father, bewildered at the situation, said “I don’t know how I missed it for all these years. It was right there in front of me. I mean, you like to believe that if you’re kid is a middle aged man…you’d know about it. I’m only in my late thirties, which makes this all the more confusing.” Bobby claims, “I felt bad breaking the news to everyone like this, but it had to come out. All this time I’ve been pretending to like these childish things, but all I want to do is watch CNN and eat a full-sized meal at McDonalds. It’s time to move on and become the man that I’ve been for the last ten years or so.” Bobby is now demanding to be called Robert and has recently started up a relationship with his 4th grade History teacher. His mom’s head is currently being reassembled by surgeons after being blown so hard from the initial shock.


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