Wednesday, October 13, 2010

Man Makes Voice Higher By Inhaling Helium, Laughs Are Had

Groundbreaking strides were made in comedy yesterday at Stacey Harris’ birthday party.  Stacey is a secretary at Smith and Smithe Accounting Firm and pizza, soda, and cake were served to mark her 28th birthday.  Josh Duef, the office funnyman, took it upon himself to remove a balloon its string, poke a small hole near the bottom using a plastic fork, and breathe the helium deep into his lungs.  Then, magic happened.  Josh’s voice rose several octaves, mimicking that of a chipmunk.  Laughs were countless and knees were slapped until raw and chafed.  The boss gave him a raise on the spot because the ingenuity of the gag.  “It was so funny,” said R&D Supervisor Richard Quinn.  “He sounded like some kind of crazy baby or a cartoon bird or something.  That’s just like Josh.  Classic.”  Josh continued to empty balloon after balloon of their contents, but soon ran out of things to say with a high-pitched voice.  “Yeah, at first it was great, but then he started quoting "Mein Kampf" and making claims about Oprah owning slaves.  After that it sort of got really uncool.”  Duef has officially come out saying that he is hanging up his career as the workplace clown, making it the shortest-lived career of a comedian since Carlos Mencia…HEYOOO!

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